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Tuesday, June 19, 2007
ok firstly.. if i sound emo.. then i haf to say that im not.. haha.. or at least i dun think so.. =p
i haf been having a cough thats realli realli irritating me quite a bit.. n its making me think that imma gonna leave this world to go to the promised land alreadi.. haha... but of coz its not the first time i think that im gonna b spirited away.. but it sets me thinking on wat pple wld say when im not around anymore.. how pple wld use the past tense to describe me.. of coz it wun realli matter anymore if circumstances fall to that.. but i feel that pple tend to 4get the bad things when ur not around n they 4get the gd things when ur around.. its kinda stupid n stuff.. haha.. n i'd always rmb squall (ff8) saying that he doesnt want to b refered to in the past tense.. when news of seifer's apparant death went about.. i wldnt freak out as he wld i guess.. since i dun realli fear death or anything like that.. life doesnt hold much meaning to me.. when ur small u'd want to grow up so when ur grown up.. wat do u want to do? theres nothing much left that i'd realli realli wanna do that wld still matter to me when im ethereal.. its quite hard to phrase this kind of tot n i'd believe that many wld oppose to it..
anyway its been a year n a month since i started blogging.. coincidentally the month i started in, may, i din blog in that month this year.. haha.. but i guess this is one of the longer blogs or diarys or watever u call this sorta thing that i've had so far eh.. n i 'd started it thinking i shld write about interesting happenings aroudn me evrydae.. but so far i think its quite changed to a place where i juz write watever i wanna write.. something like a real diary to me.. haha.. i dun think about wat shld b read by others n wat shldnt.. or at least i dun think that much now.. but having a diary aint fun when u dun read it from the start again somedae.. n i've done that once b4.. not recently but i still rmb that its quite funny how i notice wat i write n how i write change over time.. its like a process that i can c for myself how i cchange.. juz like the chat logs of msn.. when i c those 2 to 3 years ago.. when i was in sec sch.. its realli funny how i used to write little words juz for the sake of being 'cool' lolx.. not cool in terms of fashion or image or stuff like that.. but as in dun talk so much kind i suppose.. although sometimes i realli do want to keep quiet.. but i guess i can c that i used to do it on purpose.. haha..
mahjong mahjong mahjong time!! haha.. im going to wp's house tonite for mahjong!! so i guess thats all for now.. shall continue ranting another dae.. hah..