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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
i feel so much like writing things like its tuesdae's end! half the week gone! kinda things.. which was wat i used to do in jc.. ha.. but now thinking back, or mayb juz comparing between ns n jc.. jc roxx man.. haha.. the measly pay i get for private aint enuff to make the ns life better than jc life.. Sunday, July 29, 2007
haix.. its realli quite a bother to do homework la.. hah.. but angie jie give me one so i'l juz do it la.. hah.. standard wise wld b as usual lo.. my slipshod work.. haha.. Saturday, July 28, 2007
last minute ask pple out muz b prepared to b rejected.. haha.. i was prepared n i was rejected.. haha.. n so im feeling rather fine.. ha.. haf been feeling alittle high spirited todae after 5 or 6 around there.. dunno y.. anyway shall try to arrange another one mayb on national dae.. Thursday, July 26, 2007
If ya toking abt 'the grave of the fireflies' den i noe of the show as well.. of coz i've nv watched it myself.. coz basically im not realli interested in stories or shows.. the onli movies or stories that i read or watch abt r introduced to me thru various means n methods that can arouse my interest.. mostly these r done by my brother n sister.. of coz they dun do it on purpose but when they talk abt things that seemingly r interesting to me i'd try to watch them myself.. but basically i can probably safely assume that i'l nv watch 'grave of the fireflies'... coz the cover doesnt interest me very much.. ha... mayb to simply put it.. im much easily attracted to those that haf beautiful ladies in them.. haha.. the wolf princess of 'princess mononoke', San, is pretty too.. haha.. thats y i like the show too.. whilst of coz its a typical story of a guy n a gal who will fall in love wif each other to fight against a common enemy of sorts.. haha.. typical type of my favourites.. ha..
although i promised myself that i wldnt reply to any comments on the tag board in an entry or over there itself anymore, im still gonna do it.. hah.. well i guess im quite used to breaking promises especially those made wif myself.. of coz i dun deliberately make promises to break them la... anyway juz wanted to say that humans may b too diverse n too different to b classified into 2 main grps but wat i usually do is juz change some variables to b constants in my experiments or so called specimens.. n therefore get the result or product of my answers.. n of coz if ya still disagree wif me then all i can say is we all haf our own views.. much like how u wld always like to say wldnt it? = ) Wednesday, July 25, 2007
met jilyn todae after visiting the doctor's.. hah.. she was pretty nicely dolled up while i was shabbily dressed.. ha.. kinda ashamed of myself.. anyways she was going to je to take the train while i was goin to get my concession renewed.. so we took the bus over to je together.. although i onli realised she was at the bus stop when the bus arrived.. i was standing outside the bus stop wondering if i was going to meet her or whether i shld call her n stuff.. since i knew she lives there n wld b in the vicinity by probability.. ha.. but i was still rather surprised when i saw her... Tuesday, July 24, 2007
im having fever for 2 daes now.. its a pain to haf headaches realli... hope it will all go away soon... Wednesday, July 18, 2007
still cant find a gd time to talk abt my past.. got a weird feeling that i will nid to find an answer from there.. otherwise i wun feel happy enuff.. ha.. been feeling angry n easily angered lately.. wonder y..
Monday, July 16, 2007
i've been making many things complicated for myself.. or actually im making things up from nothing n then complicating them.. ha.. it all seemed to happen when i was watching harry potter on saturdae nite wif wp n his bro.. ha.. towards the mayb last 15 or 20 minutes? i suddenly had a tot flow thru myself.. dunno y.. i felt as if i've lost the ability to love.. lolx.. wats left of me is onli lust n no more love.. haha.. weird or mayb not.. it juz suddenly came to me during the show.. Friday, July 13, 2007
suddenly rmbed that i din credit karen for tuesdae's treat.. haha.. thx so much for giving me the free drink.. hah.. coffee bean stuff realli abit expensive.. ha.. but its real nice la.. so considering going to buy one myself somedae.. money issues r more prominent now den when in school.. but i guess that cant b helped.. Wednesday, July 11, 2007
ok i dun usually blog at nite n during wkdaes but i wanna say that im truly pleasantly surprised by angie's sudden drop in.. ha.. its something that i'd totally unexpected.. Sunday, July 08, 2007
ok i've linked up my branch add.. hah.. its quite lame i guess.. but i wanted to haf a chinese one so its sorta set up for now.. n its a branch of mine.. so if this place is dry for a few daes.. u can expect a drought for a few wks over there.. ha... something like that.. anyway i've made a little list over there n i think i'l b adding more to it soon.. hah..
woo.. its been more than a fortnight ago since i blogged.. been meaning to do so but cldnt find the rite time to.. ha.. im a clerk officially now n its quite an ok job for me i guess.. i probably cant last long in a combat unit.. blame my natural physique for it? or mayb myself for not keeping up to my age.. ha.. 2 weeks has passed n its barely made a dent in the 2 years of NS.. lets hope time will pass in a blink of an eye now.. ha..
anyway my sister's getting married this sundae.. 5th of august.. having her solemnization first.. throwing dinner much much later.. hah.. but anyway shes alreadi getting married.. im still single n haf nv been attached.. haha.. although my brother aint much better.. hes had onli one girlfren who broke up wif him in his ns life n til now hes remained single.. i wonder wats hes problem.. hah... since his buddies seem to haf no problems finding gfs.. ha..
i've been trying to get my 4i frens out together to much unavailability.. hah.. so i think im going to stop after this time..
karen's going poly.. i wonder how evryone is doing.. n if watever u r doing is gd enuff for u? its realli difficult to gauge wats gd n wats not realli.. some pple may think going poly after jc isnt the rite way.. but i guess it doesnt realli matter.. its our lives.. we can sacrifice as much time as we like to do watever we want.. sure we may b slower than others by a year or 2.. but so wat? its not like that will hasten us to our ends or anything.. regardless of wat we may achieve or haf achieved by the time we die, as long as we r happy at that point of time, nothing else wld matter since after that point, theres nothing left for us to worry abt.. so i guess life is realli quite stupid at times..
hoping for christmas to come.. by the time this christmas arrives, it wld mean 1 year of NS nearnig an end. n the 2nd year shldnt b much of a drag.. after all its the last year.. hah.. evry moment gone wld lead directly to the end alreadi.. coz the end is visible so to speak.. ha.. oh wells.. thats juz how im looking forward to the end ba.. mayb its juz one of the many methods to do so.. haha..
anyway i think im juz supposed to do something like wat u haf on ur side rite.. so its like i dun even haf that much to write.. ha..
4 occupations that i've worked as
1) customer service assistant
thats it.. lolx...
4 places i've lived in b4
1) Teban Gardens
thats it too.. lolx.. unless u count those stayovers at my frens' place..
4 countries that i've travelled to b4
1)Malaysia
im not sure if i've ever been to anywhere else when i was still a baby.. haha..
4 favourite foods
1)Sushi!
2)Chinese Food
3)Snacks
4)Western Food
finally something that i can fill fully.. haha..
4 places that i'd want to live in
1)Bungalows or Terrace houses
2)Japan
3)America
4)Primitive places in China?
ok another full collumn..
im not tagging anyone else so i guess im done! haha
funnily i hate to organise n arrange grp meetings n stuff like that but evrytime its me who suggests it n ends up doing it.. haha.. mayb coz onli i feel that we havent met for a bit n shld do so.. i dunno.. it doesnt seem that anyone else wld ask me to meet up wif a grp of frens or anything like that.. so im not sure abt that.. anyway im getting a little used to organising mini skirmishes like that alreadi.. n of coz.. getting used to pple saying they're not free.. haha.. i get alot of this kind of practice mainly from samuel though.. evry week can try once or twice.. haha.. the result wld always b the same..
anyway watched princess mononoke again todae.. i dunno if anyone i noe knows abt this show anot but i muz say its probably one of the best anime movies made.. its a classic kinda show abt humans destroying nature la.. but the special thing or weird thing rather is that there is this one woman who seems to b keen on killing gods.. she finally killed the great forest spirit of coz which led to the destruction of the forest n evrything around it la.. or mayb i shldnt talk much abt the story.. ha.. anyway i think its nice.. partly may b due to the nice sounds it has.. nice music made to suit the ambience.. its quite an old show too i believe.. but when a god dies.. shld it become a demon?
i quite enjoy typing on the computer actually.. mayb if im creative enuff i cld even write short stories here.. lolx.. anyway my chinese branch probably nids some extra staff to go on.. hahah..
anyway heard the phrase 'job satisfaction is an important factor of life' recently.. but wif ns for guys.. it realli is quite difficult for us to haf job satisfaction.. so i guess life has to suck for 2 years for guys eh.. i envy girls sometimes realli...
anyway my fever's gone down basically i believe.. shld b coz of the anti biotics.. but since im kinda allegic to panadol.. im still having quite a headache.. haha.. sucks..
anyways juz watched another episode of the 'le femme' something.. hah.. the hong kong serial 'nu ren bu yi zhuo' la.. in this episode.. jing liang has finally been pushed to the limit by hai qiao n decides to accept his 'fate' which is to be a bad person.. becoz when he tries to be a good guy n loves hai qiao.. all he gets is doubt n bad treatment.. evryone in the world thinks hes a bad guy n doesnt seem to belive that he cld ever turn over a new leaf..
i want to talk abt this is becoz i feel so much abt him.. hah.. i feel that i've been thru the same mindset that he went thru.. to think that being a gd guy is stupid.. n that its my nature to b bad.. to b evil.. but of coz theres alot of different variables for me to pull n tug me in n out of this mindset.. n therefore it has not made much of an impact to me yet i suppose.. whilst jing liang has started his 'revenge' n does a lot of so called 'despicable' things to do so.. which brings me to think that 'despicable' juz means acquiring something wif wit... it juz means using the simplest methods or the unorthodox, available options to get the job done.. in certain regards of things.. there realli is no such thing as morally correct.. it is all juz a mindset.. a way in which the society accepts as correct.. which was probably y i've also had many occasions of despising the fellow human race.. of coz i mite also b despising myself or shld i say im onli juz despising myself.. but i realli cant accept the fact that certain pple who r deemed to b the 'gd guys' can use despicable means n ways to get the job done but yet they r still deemed correct juz becoz they r using them against the so called 'despicable' pple.. im not thinking seriously abt this at the moment so i'l juz stop here.. hah.. juz wanted to say that being a gd guy is the worst thing to b.. being a bad guy who wants to turn over a new leaf is stupid.. being a bad guy wld require lots of carefulness.. n being a gd guy who does bad things is the onli way to get a gd life in this society if u mind wat other pple think abt u... haha.. i mind the most abt this thats y...
i wonder if i were to b hit by dengue, wat wld it feel like.. ha.. not how the illness wld feel like but rather how it wld feel like when pple noe abt it... is dengue cureless n fatal at the moment? im not realli sure.. lolx.. i dun follow news.. but if it was.. at least most pple wld bring out their minimal sympathy to someone who hasnt got long to live.. so how wld that feel? haha.. i often wonder abt that..
i seem to recall thinking that it was impossible for me to loveless.. since i haf always been rather 'full' of love? haha... but of coz i continued pushing all the love out of myself thruout the end of jc until now i suppose? n den now i feel rather frightened that its realli happened.. haha.. or mayb its juz my imagination.. thats y i said that i've made up something out of nothing n den complicated it for myself.. hah...
i'l try to change..
the wkends r here! ha.. although i dun realli haf much programme but i still like to get out of the office.. hah.. mayb those unit staying pple wld b pissed wif me abt being clerk.. but hey.. we all love wkends la.. juz treat it as OT for more pay lo.. ha..
shall probably talk abt some of my history when i can concentrate n think back properly.. nows not the time.. ha..
anyway read a few of her entries.. not realli interested in the other owner.. ha.. = p
she mentioned her little encounter again probably mainly coz she met her on the streets again recently.. i often wonder wat its like to b insane.. or mayb not that sane.. ha.. even when i heard that ET had this problems i doubted it at first.. i cant realli imagine being out of control of one's own mind.. so its quite impossible for me to comprehend.. ha.. n so i guess i dun haf any real solutions for her problem.. besides physically protecting her if nid be of coz.. ha.. but its even a mystery if we will ever meet again anyway..
den she mentioned abt amnesia.. lost of memories.. on and off thru my life.. mayb in the last 7 to 8 years? i haf realli hoped that i was struck wif amnesia.. to forget evryone n evrything.. mayb becoz i wasnt lucky wif love? or mayb coz i wasnt doing well in school.. watever the reason, i've always tot that it was realli the biggest solution of evry real problem.. not monetary problems definitely though.. coz to suicide wld mean the end of life.. that may b the end of all problems i will nv noe.. but if u can forget evrything, thats a new start to life.. mayb the problems wld still b there.. i dunno.. but i noe that the sad things, the frightening things will all go away.. mayb happy memories will b gone too... but its much easier to create these happiness rather than erasing the sad ones.. so i've always held a positive outlook to memory loss.. ha..
but alas i've always been healthy wif regards to big illnesses.. so i dun get a piece of the cake in this aspect.. ha..
anyway i left some comments on the blog in english.. not becoz i prefer to express myself in english or that i dun like chinese or feel that my chinese sucks.. its juz that typing in english on the computer is much easier n faster.. plus i was lazy to change modes.. ha.. so i juz continue typing in english lo...
i think i haf 94 or 93 weeks more to ORD... Cheerios man.. ha..
i feel that i've still got much to learn being an adult.. i mean theres so much to life that i'd tot i'd alreadi known.. or mayb i realli do noe but dunno how to apply to my life.. which defeats the whole purpose of holding on to knowledge..
there were probably about 3 to 4 times where i'd haf had quite alot of things i wanted to blog abt.. but now its all gone.. ha..
guess i'l juz try to do up my branch blog..