Archives
Links
Tagboard
Friday, February 15, 2008
i try to treat my old frens, in other words, my pri sch frens, as nice as i can based on mainly 2 reasons.. 1, i feel that i've not been very nice to them in the past n so i shld make up for it.. haha.. although i've not recalled it completely even up to now, but i got a rough idea of how i was like then.. hah.. 2, being out of contact wif them for like so long, evryone's probably haf changed from wat we were at the age of 12 at most.. so it'd b fun to rediscover these frens or even to discover how much they've managed to keep of themselves.. Thursday, February 14, 2008
Short post.. hah.. theres a difference between ignoring n avoiding u noe.. haha..
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
i wanted to blog about something but as usual i forgot wat it was.. hah.. Monday, February 11, 2008
i didnt feel like blogging yesterdae.. although i had the time to do so.. but after much deliberation, i decided to blog again. b4 the cny, there was all the packing n cleaning to do n i felt that it was much more of a hassle than previous years coz i dun rmb ever clearing so much stuff anyways.. n i nv realli enjoyed the cny very much. in the past, i'd c that getting money from cny was essential. or at least it was the good thing about cny. but for me this year, i din think getting Tuesday, February 05, 2008
juz took a walk down to the market.. it was a rather pleasant feeling to haf the nite wind gently blowing whilst the silent nite brewed tranquility.. haha.. if thats any way to describe it.. simply put is that its quite nice to take a walk at nite i guess.. hah.. although it mite get scary when u start imagining things.. hah..
there r some things that grown ups or at least pple who r supposed to haf grown up.. ha.. cannot do which children r free to do so.. one simple thing is playing hide and seek.. if ur hiding near some place where pple r frequent, u'd b deemed as behaving suspiciously n get questioned by cops if any were nearby.. whereas children haf the absolute rite to do so. there r many other things too but i juz wanted to put this simple analogy that may b too simple to b even taken note of.. haha.. Sunday, February 03, 2008
hmm.. juz went sheng siong wif my parents to buy some stuff for the new year.. n actually its not juz some but quite alot ba.. ha.. or mayb its juz the few cartons of drinks that pulled the overall weight down.. anyway i juz tot that the attitude of the workers or shld i say one or two of them kinda sucked.. it quite pissed me off.. haha.. thats kinda a seldom thing to happen but i guess i wasnt realli happy wif how they worked.. anyways the cashier oso took the price of one of the items wrongly n over charged us 9 dollars.. luckily my sis always tell me to check the receipt.. haha.. so its realli important to do that..
anyway i was looking for the way to fold the ferrero rocher rose online, n chanced upon this random blog.. its quite funny how similar the events that he had been thru when he was my age.. hes a year older than me n hes probably a poly student coz hes enlisted a month later than me.. ha.. anyway the things he went thru last year seems to b happening to me similarly.. ha.. not entirely the same but similar.. it wld haf been fun to read on wif his blog but after a while i found his language to b rather disgusting in my sense.. hah.. hes trying to act too gentlemanly.. or shld i say hes juz plain egoistic.. hah.. i dun like that in a stranger.. lolx..
im not afraid or worried if i was scizophrenic.. but i'd b terrified if i had hallucinations..
so i'd juz blog about something i tot of yesterdae..
if u suddenly meet a divine being who gives u a chance to relive ur life all over again, allowing u to keep ur memories thus far, therefore letting u decide whether to choose the same path all over again, make different decisions which u think wld haf made ur life alot better, or juz make different decisions simply to c how else ur life cld turn out to b.. wld u choose any one of the 3 above? or wld u simply reject his offer?
thats something i tot wld yield a great variety of different answers n reasons.. of coz there can onli b 4 variations to the answers but i think the reasons cld vary alot from person to person.. the way i phrased it was different to this.. i phrased it previously such that it sounded abit more like a personality test.. hah.. anyway i changed to this way coz i tot it'd b easier to understand this way..
the ang baos were of much significant.. coz its all money from the family itself. n it doesnt realli make much of an impact to my pool of money at all.. despite the fact that any bit of money contributed to it is definitely helpful. but i nv realli made use of the ang bao money thruout the years. i onli kept them under my bed. i rarely take them out to use them unless i ran out of money n i din haf time to go to an atm. so i realli tot that cny wld juz b another bothersome thing or shld i say its juz another holidays.. which of coz isnt realli much of a holidae coz the time i spend at home is even lesser than when im working. since i'd b out visiting. but of coz i guess it still beats working. i din even blog about last year's cny n so i tot i'd probably do the same again this year.
but this year is a little different. i actually enjoyed it this time. well mayb i always haf enjoyed it. but i juz din notice it, unlike this year. i dunno wat the difference cld haf been. mayb age, mayb ns, i dunno.. i juz felt that this family that i belong to. it seems like a very strange feeling. that i mite actually fear losing this family.
but particularly the most obvious change in me this year is the fact that i actually feel that i like children. lolx. i haf this family of cousins who r at least 7 years younger than me. 4 of them, 13, 12,10 and 2 years old respectively. theres another boy whos 11 this year too.. but i onli saw him on the first dae.. so anyway. for the first time in years haf i actually missed these kids at the end of the dae. i dunno how they feel about this big brother, me. ha.. we used to play together alot.. coz i was still a little kid too when they were toddlers. but as the years went by, we started to distant away from each other. although i can still manage to talk to the eldest boy, the 2 subsequent girls seem to b a little afraid of me, in a sense.. ha. i dunno if thats juz my opinion but they definitely havent spoken to me this year. haha.. i wonder if its juz that they r growing up or their environment in which they've grown up in.. after all, i dun think they've spoken much to anyone else in the family too.. haa.. i guess i was asked to b a big brother to too many children whom i din c evrydae in to short a time at too young an age.. ha. i wld haf onli been primary 6 or secondary school when i rmb playing closely wif them.. haha.. i suppose i wld b able to do better as a big brother now than that time ba..
anyway, the 2 girls usually juz chatter between themselves..the reason y i managed to talk to the eldest boy was onli becoz i taught him a little rubiks cube tips too.. hah.. so i took the opportunity to learn more about how they are doing in school n stuff like that.. haha..den the youngest girl whos juz 2 years old or 3 this year la.. shes realli cute.. i nv tot i'd ever think that toddlers were cute.. haha.. coz they can b a huge nuisance at times.. hah.. but shes realli cute.. n she grew to like me a little bit more coz i played wif her a bit. it was juz a silly thing where i took the extra chips n mahjong tiles from the box n started stacking them up. n den i stacked up the chips n blew them to make them fall.. this quite entertained the little girl.. haha..
anyway the climax of my enjoyment probably ended on the 4th dae.. coz the 4th dae itself wasnt realli much for me.. or mayb its juz coz i had developed a little headache n its still hurting me now.. although i think its juz an old ailment.. haha.. or mayb its juz that i cant stop thinking abt stuff at the moment. i cldnt realli slp well last nite as i cldnt stop myself from thinking.. thinking about lots of stuff.. stuff that cld frighten me, stuff that cld make me sad.. stuff that cld decide wat direction i shld go. stuff that i cant seem to recall no matter how hard i try to think about them.. stuff that can lead me to thinking that living is a pain.. i tot about death again todae.. my death that is.. although i noe that i will nv commit suicide, for fear of pain.. lolx.. but i juz tot of it.. how evrything wld b so much more relaxed if i did.. lolx..
due to personal reasons, i've also decided to filter the things that i realli feel as opposed to the things that i blog about.. some truth may not b the entire truth. but it still holds truth in itself.. its juz a matter of wat u r able to perceive n wat u shld not take in ba..
talk about ushering in a prosperous new year.. but isnt that wat we do or try to do evry year? but wat do we get.. nothing realli.. the whole prosperous new year thing is nothing but a hoax or an excuse for pple to splurge on new year goodies n other stuff like that.. but seeing how unreal prosperity itself is, nobody wld probably ever noe how to realli grasp it. mayb for all we noe, we're actually supposed to onli usher in prosperity at the end of the first month or something.. hah.. by which that time evryone wld b pretty out of the new year mood alreadi..
the niu lang zhi nu story, i cant rmb the english translation.. is it the cowherd n the weaver maiden or something? anyway the loving couple r supposed to haf onli a dae's chance of reunion once per year.. but wld it b the same if that 24 hours was split up n shared between the 2 such that they r able to meet more regularly but lesser time per day evrydae or something? i wonder which is a less cruel punishment.. ha..
anyway i wld like to take this opportunity to unveil the truth behind the particular character i named Alph a couple of entries ago. there was actually nv such an event or character n watever i had described b4 were essentially all fictitious. meaning that none of them realli took place. not to say the least is the fact that i take my neighbour's car to bukit batok where i take the onli bus i nid to take evrydae to work. therefore it is impossible for any said events to occur around me.
i hate to do research. especially searching for info online. but sadly it seems that wherever i go i will always kanna something that requires me to find stuff online.. its alreadi bad enuff that i tio something that nids to b done weekly. but now i nid to find some stuff that i cant seem to find.. haha.. so much for being able to use the internet.
i'm not realli fit to live in this techno era.. i'd rather choose to b living in the past.. somewhere distant like the realm of 3 kingdoms in china that era.. haha.. or at least i'd want to b a farmer.. i tot onli i'd haf that kind of thinking but i found someone who wanted to b a farmer too.. haha.. kinda surprised when he said that but i guess there r pple who want that kinda life too eh..
its quite interesting to do a comparison wif last year by simply reading the stuff i blogged about a year ago.. last year end was the 4i chalet.. but it feels like it happened last dec.. haha.. that was a happy memory..
im wondering if i shld get an add on for my ds, get a psp, or get an mp3 player.. currently i think my decision is nearer to the ds side.. but mayb that will change again.. n even if it is nearer to the ds side, it doesnt realli mean i'l get it in the near future.. hah..
sometimes i realli wanna meet up wif all the pple that i've studied wif at some point of time.. in other words, all the pple whom i've shared the classroom wif.. i'd hope that they'd shed some light on my past.. as in how much i've probably changed from then.. n how better or worse i m then n now.. i'd hope that they'd tell me how successful they r now in life.. n how they'd b able to help me wif my current status.. well i cant say much now since im on a forced service.. but i'd hope that wld happen probably 3 to 4 years down the road.. i like to depend on other pple.. probably coz i think that its the easy way out.. but yet at the same time i wldnt want to b a burden to someone.. or to bother someone so much that im slowing or even disrupting their advancement.. anyway its not realli like i've gotten amnesia or something that i cant recall wat happened in the past or how i was then.. but in some way or some what, i seem to haf created a psychological barrier in my memory bank that prevents my access to it wif complete accuracy.. hah..
somehow life always seems to b better in another timeline or time zone.. no matter what time it is..