Archives
Links
Tagboard
Sunday, July 13, 2008
heres to posting in july.. hah.. blogging has become quite a chore not realli coz of the time i cld haf spent elsewhere which i wld spend thinking about wat to post n the time spent on typing it in itself.. but realli i dun seem to haf anything worth recording down for reference.. i started out partly coz i noe that i forget alot of stuff if i dun write them down n if i do write them down.. reading them in about a few months or even a few years cld b interesting.. but i've since lost that thinking formula n there's essentially nothing much that i wld enjoy reading about to refresh my memories than to keep those memories purely by rmbing them in my heart or mind.. depending on where memories are supposed to go anyways.. ha..
i haf a growing feeling that a life can realli b split into 2 different categories.. when a person has a partner to live wif, n when a person doesnt haf... of coz when i say a partner to live wif.. i'd oso mean those who has lost their partners to tragedy or to disasters.. these partners live in their hearts of coz.. but i'd say their lives wld b more similar still to those without than to those wif..
i've always wanted to b a part of those wif a partner to live wif.. but i've always nv had one.. n den slowly as i grew up, i witnessed the problems that that life cld bring to how i've been living all these years.. n i started to think twice about whether i'd realli want that sort of life.. but i've oso wondered if i started to reject that idea becoz of the problems that i learnt about or juz coz i cldnt succeed in attaining it.. the sour grapes theory always plays a part.. b it significantly or invisibly..
mayb the number of different pple i've met so far is too little for me to come to an understanding of how diverse humans can realli b.. mayb i've nv realli seen how the pple i noe realli think or realli behave when they are themselves.. but all i noe is.. i seem to b changing into a rather bitter person.. ha..
all in all.. i suppose that i shld keep those that i feel i've seen thru them as realli great frens close to me n nv let them leave my side.. although its rather hard to do so.. i've not the qualities to attract that many kinds of pple towards giving or sharing a part of their lives wif.. ha.. mayb its hard to change a person when they've fully grown or when they've become aware of themselves.. mayb its juz that i refuse to change.. refuse to yield to the environment that i've been put into.. mayb i can onli wait for the final lesson to b dealt unto me b4 i can finally move on..
i wonder y did i start talking about those things.. ha.. i've done this post wif watever came to my mind straight n din do much thinking into it.. so does that mean this is wat i'm realli thinking? or does it mean that this is juz some form of bullshit that i've conjured up yet again.. ha..
10 more months of time..