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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
it seems like everyone in my pri sch class is saying that we shld get together more often.. that we've not contacted each other for such a long time that they'd think it was impossible to haf seen each other on such a grand scale b4 this day..but they themselves shld haf realised that they if nobody bothered to put in an effort to organise anything at all.. nothing wld b possible.. so i suppose they tot that they werent influential enuff to b able to command such a big crowd to come together again after all these years? i dunno about that.. personally i think its realli coz they cldnt care less about it.. ha.. after all.. i was the one who said "y bother" to the question of getting as many pple to go as possible.. so i suppose bsides jade who's role in this is one of the more definite ones, i'd say the others who bothered to round up pple shld receive thanks as well.. ha.. but i onli noe sw took up one of these roles..not entirely sure about the others.. haha..
or mayb evryone's saying this onli in the moment of excitement.. they've juz gotten back from wat seems to haf been the most fun thing they've done in recent weeks or even months.. that they WANT to feel it again asap... pple start saying things like 'oh now we got each other's contacts we can go out anytime' or 'lets go sing K' or 'lets juz get together again'.. im not refering to anyone exactly.. since i'm onli citing general examples.. haha..but i believe that 80% of these pple onli say this in hopes to spur up the emotions of the other individual in the conversation and let him put something together.. i believe that after the 2nd week or so of the new year, nobody will b talking to each other about coming together anymore.. haha.. life b4 this chalet wld continue n this will juz become a distant memory..
of coz.. this is juz a story im coming wif myself as i dunno wat to blog about.. LOL.. or mayb coz i tend to think negatively.. but i feel that from my experience of my past 10 or so years.. this is wat usually happens.. yes it is true that out of the 20 plus pple that came together last wkend, there will definitely be pple who got closer to one another, or mayb a grp of 4 or 5 pple who had remained in close contact wif one another will grow to mayb 6 to 7 pple.. but there will always b at least half of the populace who will juz start wandering off again..
ok.. mayb i M starting to think negatively for the sake of sounding emo.. LOLX.. but i dunno.. i've chosen to leave my current frens whenever i had the opportunity since i was young.. mayb kindergarden doesnt count.. but from pri to sec to jc to NS, the transition always sees me going to another environment where i'm without any of my previous frens.. mayb thats y i feel that frens cant realli b kept for that long a time.. i dunno.. hah... i've always felt that frens were frens onli coz they were there.. coz they are conveniently there when u nid them.. it cld b half true.. that convenience is definitely one reason y pple stick to certain individuals.. but i've yet to realli feel the greatness of frenship...
n oso i cant help but feel that there is an unknown fear towards talking to certain pple in a crowd of frens.. or that there is a certain invisible wall that surrounds certain characters such that they will b pushed slightly out of reach of their supposed circle of frens.. but yet not far enuff to connect wif another.. or mayb i juz feel that pple still cant get very close to me despite me chosing to b the joker a few months ago.. haha.. i guess its pretty hard to change a personality trait or at least its hard to change the perception of ur personality trait.. i mean i dun juz feel that pple still has a tiny fear of me in a certain sense of the word la.. i oso feel that i cannot approach some pple as well even though im well aware that there is nothing to fear.. ha.. after all these years.. i've tried to bolster my guts.. to b braver than i was with each passing year.. but all i've been capable of doing is probably to brave thru physical tests than psychological ones.. i'm able to jump from a 2nd floor easily without worrying that i'd hurt myself.. but i'm unable to talk to someone whom i've nv spoken to b4 to ask if he cld let me join in the fun...
mayb i juz crave attention.. haha... oh wells.. i guess i shld stop writing about this coz i'm feeling emo n that anything i can think of within the next few hours will oso turn out emo.. haha....
its better to blog about events than my feelings... ha..
but yet.. i'm not sure wat i can blog about regarding the stayoverers of the chalet.. ha.. under the secrecy policy.. i dunno wat i can reveal n wat i cannot reveal.. or mayb its onli visuals that i cannot reveal n words haf no regard as to violating the policy.. or mayb the policy is onli there to safeguard my own interests n therefore my breaking it has no meaning watsoever to any other being.. ha..
or mayb im juz too lazy n thus coming up wif such a strange excuse.. either way.. i'l juz end here for now...
oh n i realised that i'm doing the last duty of the year in my office.. n oso the first duty of next year... wow... hurray... sigh...
4 more months to go...