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Thursday, January 01, 2009
heres the first post of the new year! haha.. haf been blogging consecutive days for a while now.. ha.. it doesnt realli reflect how much fun i've had in recent times but rather how much time i haf to spend blogging coz i got nothing else to do or want to do.. ha..
if i were to try summing up my 2008 experience.. i'd probably nid to recall certain unhappy events so i'd rather juz leave the summing up to the archives i've had over on the rite side of this page.. ha.. but i think i've come up wif the idea as to y i've been feeling so strange recently.. or shld i say after the chalet..
i've obviously been in NS for the past 1 year n a few months more, n during this time period, i've developed my own way of living by myself... to stick to myself without the need of another individual to always or frequently b there for me.. to b able to solve my own problems without the nid to ask for opinions, to ask for alternatives, to talk about many things.. mayb all this havent changed.. but the onli thing that's changed is probably the fact that pple HAF become available for this.. even if i choose not to discuss myself wif them, the fact remains that they've come closer to me such that i can c them in the distance n shld i ever nid to, i cld approach them..
but this availability has led to problems wif my thinking process.. i can no longer survive on my own.. when im sure that nobody's around, i can b certain that im alone.. that i haf to do evrything by myself.. so all i had to do was to make myself feel comfortable.. n i think i succeeded in that.. ha.. but being comfortable mite not mean that im happy..
being wif my frens at the chalet made me rather happy.. or mayb even too happy.. happiness drew me away from my comfort zone.. but yet this happiness cannot b sustained.. it expires almost too soon.. n im caught standing in a place where i feel neither comfortable nor happy..
of coz there mite b other reasons.. but this is wat i cld gather from evidence that i've been thinking thru recently.. ha.. reading death note oso sets my mind thinking in a hyper logical way.. n speaking of death note, i think the anime was better in terms of portraying Light's genius.. ha.. the comic makes him less than wat i rmb him to b..
so mayb im juz trying to get back into my comfort zone.. into my own brick house where i'l b safely tugged away by myself.. BUT.. i think i forgot my keys.. lolx.. mayb i will try the chimney.. haha..
on a side note.. assuming i alreadi noe who actually reads this blog, wat makes u think that watever i say is true? n if it were true, den wat wld b my intentions? i wonder if evrybody does things for a purpose.. haha.. mayb pple juz read for fun.. read n forget without the process of digesting n of coz without the process of thinking the answers to the 2 questions i juz proposed.. haha...