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Monday, January 19, 2009
WHY? why? y? y m i Pes C? y m i enlisted in april? y was i posted to where i m now?
I'm more n more looking forward to ORD now.. but its still so far away.. almost seems like it nv came closer since the start of 09..
Dan n Tim ORDs this coming friday.. Sam, WP, Wbi, Willy.. they ORD 2 weeks after CNY.. out of all of them.. i haf alreadi heard Dan, Tim, Sam say that they are so close to ORD that they dun even feel any happiness about it.. is that like true? I cannot believe it.. BR said its true.. speaking from a Overly Relaxed Dude's point of view.. but I refuse to believe it.. N I will even prove that it is wrong..
From X number of months ago, I had alreadi said that come april when i ORD, I mite even tear.. it wld b tears of overjoy, tears of relieve.. tears of rejuvenation... But in truth.. I myself know that I probably wun b THAT dramatic... haha... but still.. dun feel the happiness of ORD? the emptiness of life after NS? NEVER... If I was supposed to point out the top ten things I hate about being a Singaporean male, NS wld probably top the list wif 70% of the votes..
It may not b a general dislike towards doing National Service.. Hell.. I dun even dislike NS in general.. I'm fed up coz I'm wasting 2 years doing things that I'm better off not doing.. Y do I need specs? Din pple used to tell me that I shldnt face the computer for too long? It is more personal.. I feel the personal hatred towards wat I'm doing rite now.. towards the environment in which I'm spending majority of my time awake in...
I tend to think things to the extreme.. in a chinese saying, that wld b to go to the tips of the horns.. mayb thats y i tend to haf extreme moods that can change wif a single second.. But I wonder if I was born to b like that.. to b an extremist..
I'd rather b a doppleganger.. at least his aim in life is to copy.. wif no real self, he does not nid to feel bad about himself.. even if the duplicated copy is a far cry from the original... at least the goal wld simply b to become 100% alike..
the super hero syndrome.. i suppose almost evryone wld haf this urge to b someone's super hero.. to b there n save the dae.. to rescue the victim from the clutches of evil.. or mayb juz from the troubles that the person was facing at a point or evry point of time.. but for this to happen.. there are a few conditions to b met..
1) the person MUZ face trouble that can b solved by a third person.. he/she cannot solve the problem by him/herself..
2) the 'superhero' muz b able to solve the problem wif ease.. solving the problem nonetheless after a whole tedious process may work.. but that wld lead to complications...
3) no one else muz seem to b able to do it except for the 'superhero'..
So wif those 3 conditions in mind, doesnt it mean that wanting to b a 'superhero' is wrong? since it wld mean that the 'superhero' is hoping that the person MUZ face trouble.. regardless of wat it may b.. it MUZ vex the person to a certain extent.. in other words.. he is hoping that the person runs into problems so that he can step in n save the dae... isnt it incorrect to hope something bad happens to someone else?
BUT if thats not true, then does that mean, regardless of how slight it may b, that there's a chance whereby it is justifiable to create problems for another person? to cause discomfort to someone else?
if the dude who created humans werent so lazy... we all wld haf been more perfect...