Archives
Links
Tagboard
Monday, February 02, 2009
ok firstly, i think i shall not tag in my own chat box so i will onli respond to the tags there from my entries itself.. of coz i dun realli expect much tags anyway.. but since BR is such a fan n tags, i will juz respond to them from here..
for starters, i wun b changing the colour of the bouquet regardless of watever the situation or whoever the person is.. ha.. im too lazy to do that.. n i think u've been attached for too long le.. haha.. u may haf forgotten certain things that wld make it impossible to get the flowers over or at least it wld b strange or requires an excuse of some sort.. indeed if i dun expect any reciprocation it wld weigh me down less.. but a part of me still thinks that if i dun expect reciprocation den i mite as well dun do anything... y bother letting someone noe that she is loved by another individual if at the end of it all nothing will come out of it anyway.. but of coz a part of me understands where ur coming from wif that point.. haha.. so i hafta say that u gave me an idea in a sense.. but whether i will implement that idea is another thing entirely.. lastly about the sense of security eh.. i guess i've nv been able to give anyone a sense of security.. basically coz i've got a completely useless method of working n anyone who's worked wif me in a grp will probably noe that i dun work well at all in a grp.. onli a few pple noe how to work wif me.. haha.. but anyway i was talking about the sense of security.. haha.. digressed abit.. i muz say that i haf tried to enhance my capabilities n my outlook towards many things that cld broaden even alittle of my ability to make someone feel safe.. but apparently i haf no talent in this field watsoever.. ha.. so if my attitude was more serious it wld at least feel that im more able to protect wat i wld want to protect? i dunno about that at all.. ha..
ok that was all in response to BR.. haha... abit long but doesnt matter la.. ha.
i wonder if im the onli person who wld think for others almost all the time.. when i played cards wif my relatives, i wld worry that i wld lose much of coz.. thats the basic level.. next i wld worry that if i won, that wld mean that someone else will nid to lose.. n i will worry if the amount lost is significant anot... in the end i managed to come to a comfortable playing field by playing a small amount of 20 cents per round.. lolx.. its quite little but at least it was fun.. we were after all playing for kicks.. not for the money.. i managed win 15X in 2 days.. so if i had made a bigger bet i wld haf won bigger.. but im happy wif 15x of 20cents.. rather than 15x of 2 dollars.. simply becoz this way my aunt wun nid to lose too much.. n if it was losing 15x of 20cents i wldnt mind anyway...
which leads to another story.. i din realli understand wat the reason of play was.. but it seemed to me that they were playing for the money.. the rules n the bets n stuff.. it all leaned towards maximising profit rather than minimising lost.. i wasnt realli enthused into playing of coz... so i juz took 4 rounds to lose 4x of 50cents n managed to get myself out of the game finally.. ha.. n in the end the game din last long... im not sure if its coz i wasnt playing thats y they all stopped.. if it was, then i haf to say im sorry.. ha.. but if it wasnt.. then i realli dun think the reason of play was for money..
im quite bitter at times.. but if im too bitter.. anyone can juz tell me.. i'l sweeten up.. lolx.. oh wells.. there cld haf been more things to look out for b4 then.. but now i guess my next main event is ORD... even my birthday doesnt seem that big a deal rite now...